Now that's a title! Good thing Blogspot
doesn't have a character limit, am I right?
With the holiday of consumerism and
gift exchanging approaching, so too does the sense of fear and
anxiety that comes with trying to figure out what to get that special
someone. And if you're here reading this blog, chances are that
special someone is the same gender as you.
But what if all we had to go on a
person was their date of birth and some astrological stereotypes?
This gift giving guide will suit all your horoscopical needs.
On the first day of Christmas, my Aries
gave to me:
A bottle of whiskey, a shinguard, and a
bandaid.
On the second day of Christmas, my
Taurus gave to me:
COOKIES AND PORN.
On the third day of Christmas, my
Gemini gave to me:
A better texting plan and the key to
his dungeon.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my
Cancer gave to me:
A gold watch, a tiara, and the key to
his apartment.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my Leo
gave to me:
One of those electronic picture
frames...already uploaded with photos of himself.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my Virgo
gave to me:
Deodorant, a mixed CD of sad-eyed
songstresses, artisinal teas and a note that labels them by their
accurate name: “tisanes”.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my
Libra gave to me:
100-thread count sheets, a condom, an
explicit invitation, and BEYONCE.
On the eight day of Christmas, my
Scorpio gave to me:
The key to his apartment and the key to
his dungeon...before he switched the locks on both.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my
Sagittarius gave to me:
Another Sagittarius.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my
Capricorn gave to me:
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my
Aquarius gave to me:
A spider monkey, a sequoia, a replica
of the “Garden of Earthly Delights,” and...an iPad.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my
Pisces gave to me:
Finger paints and an Enya CD.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
finger paints and enya...... ????? i feel this is a tad inaccurate. head should be included somewhere on the pisces gift giving list. #ImJustSayin
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