“Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other, you can stand under my umbrella, you can stand under my umbrella.”
ELLA. ELLA. ELLA. EH. EH. EH. EH. ...Sorry.
Constellation of the Water Boy, Aquariuses are born from January 20 – February 19. Contrary to what most people think when they hear a sign associated with water, their element is Air, which they embody in all of its life-giving properties. Their planet is Uranus (tee hee).
Famous Gay Aquarius Guys: Adam Lambert. Mo Rocca. Nathan Lane.
Famous Gay Aquarius Guys: Adam Lambert. Mo Rocca. Nathan Lane.
You took the risk of not listening to your friends, mostly because nobody could make up their opinion on him. He's a shot-boy, and he navigates the dance floor with precision. He's chatty, he's cute, and he's collected. Being generous, you buy several shots off of him over the course of the night. By now you don't even know if he likes you. He promised to hang out with you tonight, but really...you just can't make up your mind about him.
After he's done with work, it's a whole other story. He embraces you warmly. On the way back home he talks your ear off. He seems to be well-versed in almost every subject and he's genuinely interested in what you have to say. By now you're thinking he gets a bad rap from the other boys. He's really smart, and yet he doesn't mind his job. "It suits me," he says.
His dorm room isn't what you expected at all...at least, not before you got to know him. Colorful tapestries hang from the walls, a hookah sits on its die in the corner, a statue of Buddha watches you from his desk. He's a regular hippie it seems. "I can read your Tarot cards," he tells you and he sits cross-legged in the center of the room, clad only in his underwear and a hemp necklace. You shrug and go for it.
He's eerily accurate as he reads off your first two cards. He claims he really doesn't believe in this stuff, though the Aquarius calendar on his wall begs to differ. "The next card is your future," he says. He stops your hand just as you're about to flip it over. You ask why. "I already know what it's going to be," he says with a smile as he leans in and kisses you. "You're going to take a shower with me," he prophesies.
And would you look at that, he was right after all.
What the Stars Say:
Congratulations, Aquarius boys, because the story of your constellation is explicitly gay. In Greek myth there existed Ganymede, the most beautiful twinktastic boy in the world. He worked as a shepherd and therefore spent most of his time out in the Grecian sun shirtless while getting a nice tan. Zeus, horndog that he was, took the form of an Eagle and whisked him off to Olympus to have hot Greek god sex with him. It was okay though because he asked Ganymede's dad for permission first. Because Ganymede was so frickin hawt, Zeus made him an immortal charged with bringing water, ambrosia, and alcohol to the other Olympians. Yes folks, Ganymede was the original shot-boy. Eventually he was raised up into the sky as the constellation Aquarius. For the Christians, they connected this sign to John the Baptist, the eccentric but brilliant vagrant who believed that water washed away sins and made one pure. You will come to see that the Aquarius boy functions the same way, a quirky character who nevertheless always seems to think ahead of his time.
On the planetary side of things, Aquarius is associated with the oft-mispronounced planet Uranus (say it together with me now: you-ran-us). Named for the sky god who brought the world out of chaos and into civility, Uranus beholds several traits that point to revolution, social change, betterment, and evolution. For one, this planet was discovered shortly at the end of the American Revolution and the beginning of the French Revolution, two difficult wars that, while horrific, granted their respective countries more liberty and freedom than they had before. Uranus is the planet of iconoclasts and big-thinkers, people at first seen by their peers as going against the grain who then become geniuses in their own right.
Aquarius is actually an Air sign (remember, he was whisked away into the sky) and it is the quality of Air and all that it bestows that Aquarius represents. To be obvious, air allows us to breathe. It also gives us plants and makes up our atmosphere, pretty much one of the major reasons we have life on this planet. Air is what gives us the power of communication. In keeping with the theme of Aquarius being the water bearer, air allows the right molecules to build up in the sky and grant us nourishing rain.
That Cosmic Bod:
Aquarius boys, repping the SIGN OF THE GAY, are usually attractive fellows by nature. Steeped in an almost eternal zen calmness, their bodies are usually sturdy and poised. Their faces tend to be model-esque, always with the expressions of half-sexy, half-stoned that we are so accustomed to seeing in underwear magazines. Their features recall the myth of Ganymede; eternal masculine youth seems to stay with them well into their later twenties. Their hair is usually soft, manageable, and shiny.
These boys have tight, compact, swimmer's builds. For some reason, Aquarius men never reach tremendous heights, again trapped in their infinite boy state. Even when short, they still cut stunning figures. Their cocks tend to be average but well-formed (ah, just right) but their assess are AH-MAZING, usually muscular or bubble butts you could easily bounce quarters off of.
What's on the Inside:
Aquariuses are unique characters, the great philosophers of the zodiac. In ancient times, the philosopher Socrates would hang out near the town plaza and ask people questions about life as they went by, hoping to extract hidden knowledge from the masses. People thought he was weird. But some people thought he was really cool, and now his stone head can be found in almost every university. The Aquarius boy operates under that same eccentric/brilliant dynamic. These boys seems to exist in a perpetual future state of knowledge and mental clarity, that proverbial Age of Aquarius sung about in the musical Hair. Whether or not he is the boy genius so commonly found in his sign's rankings, the Aquarius boy has his own, unique way of thinking that usually sets him apart from the rest of the herd. His astrological duty is to observe and change, assuring that humanity will always be on a state of constant evolution. Inspired thinking and drastic change seems to be what this boy is about. Believe me, you haven't met any other boy like an Aquarius before.
Whereas his cousin Libra is always in the process of harmonizing, the Aquarius gay boy seems to have found some of this harmony within himself. More than any other boy, he seems calm and collected. He is frank about his insecurities, so much so that it would seem he has none at all. That's not to say he boasts the confidence of say, a Leo gay boy, since Aquarius does not understand that level of aggression. Often he finds social interactions one-on-one to be weird, seeing himself as some awkward character that would probably turn dudes away. Ironically, this brand of uniqueness is the Aquarius gay boy charm that so many guys would actually enjoy. For all his one-of-a-kind intellect, he sometimes sells himself short.
Truth be told, the Aquarius gay boy sees himself as somewhat of a loner. Every Aquarius has summed up humanity with his own varying philosophy. Whether or not he sees humankind as good or bad, people absolutely fascinate him. This is why Aquariuses often take up majors in communications, journalism, psychology, or computer sciences. Their birthright is to interact with humans as the outside observer, the confident, the constant friend. Aquarius is the sign of friendship and relating to people on a mass scale. This is why, it is said, that Aquarius boys make the best friends. It is not in their interest to betray or step on people, since they have risen above these methods of getting what they want.
Think. Think. Think. Aquarius boys live inside their head. While they don't live in a dream-state like their neighbor Pisces, the Aquarius is firmly chilling out in his mind. Aquariuses cannot stop thinking for one second. They will die. There always needs to be some discoverer and analysis going on up there. Oftentimes this can lead the Aquarius boy to overthinking, which at its worst can result in depression and other mental illnesses that toe the line between genius and madness. Since every sign's positive traits have a negative counterpart, the Aquarian mind is both a realm of infinite wisdom and a minefield of chaos and fear. Only the mentally strong may travel there freely.
Since the Aquarius gay boy is so cerebral, emotions are somewhat of an oddity to him. Though he is firmly aware that he has them, expressing them is a whole other story. It's more like Aquarius translates emotionality into thought. This is both a pro and a con. Aquarius make the best friends because they can listen to you without self-interest or extremism. They can be wonderfully objective, allowing themselves to distance, observe, analyze, and input. On the downside, even though they are emotional teflon...they are emotional teflon. Since emotions slide right off them, people looking for a character who exudes warmth and lovey-doveyness will not find that in Aquarius. At his worst, he seems cold or robotic. Still, an Aquarius is affectionate in his own way.
The problem with the Aquarius emotionality is that, for all of his humanism, he can sometimes lack empathy. This is where Aquariuses are often accused of having no emotions. Though the Aquarius boy is hardly self-serving, he is very much, like his opposite Leo, self-centered. He thinks from the viewpoint of the self, even if that string of knowledge his “how can I better the world?”. Since he sees people as a collective, he has no time for your individual silly human feelings. To him, the more base human instincts such as anger, lust, and sorrow, are archaic things that should be left in the past. Unfortunately, people are not robots. Many times, the Aquarius boy can act like an epic douche without knowing why. If you try to tell him, he may understand, but it won't matter. He sees no point in changing if it means assimilating into a world that he often finds petty and childish.
Aloof. Distant. Detached. These are the unholy trinity of Aquarius negative attributes. On a surface level, an Aquarius boy seems so relatable. But his mind is like an ice burg and he has a very strange world laying beneath that calm exterior. Since he sees himself as the wise man of the woods or even the crazed vagabond running around screaming “THE END IS NIGH”, he can be so bitter about other humans that he'll just about accept his own contempt as the lay of the land. You'd think a boy so rational would also be so...reasonable. Try arguing with him. Thirty minutes after his speech (which oddly enough seemed eloquent while you were listening) you will still not have gotten the point. If you tell him this, he'll probably just smirk and say: “Well of course you don't...CUZ NOBODY UNDERSTAAAANDS ME.” His “point” will thus have been proven. If you punch him in the face, you'll just have proven it further, so please don't bother.
The Aquarian tendency towards revolutionary ideas means that his interests will often be eccentric or esoteric. Aquarius is the atypical “New Agey” sign, so many of these boys do have interests in what some people would deem “weird”: Tarot cards, fortunes, this blog, etc. Because he's open minded, he sees alternative aspects of society as potential wellsprings of knowledge and change. He can also be the original computer geek, since he seems to understand technology often more than humanity. Much of his interests will seem at odds with the mainstream, but as second glance they also seem progressive and ahead of their time.
Though he lives for himself, the Aquarius boy has numerous friends of all backgrounds. More than anybody else, the Aquarius boy has deep, strong relationships with his close friends. Since they all see him as a pillar of support as well as excellent advice, many flock to his social circle. Unless he finds their ideologies incompatible with his, the Aquarius boy does not mind hanging with straight dudes and he's often easily accepted into their fold. The girls love this boy, often at “crush-like” levels, which is no problem for an Aquarius boy since he'll let them know up front that it will never happen. Because he appreciates and sees the potential in all walks of life, the Aquarius boy makes one of the best friends in the zodiac.
You and the Other Boys:
Though he is the original “gay” sign, the Aquarius boy often finds it hard to fit in with the community at large. Not that he really cares. I must apologize in advance if my own opinions are leaking through, but let's face it: the current generation of gay men between the ages of 14 – 25 is less than stellar when it comes to community building. The reason for this can be attributed to our current place in history, the adolescent struggle to find our identity and be accepted by society. An Aquarius boy would tell you that , in an attempt to “fit in”, the gay community has become a weird realm of homo-normativity: i.e. enforcing a status quo on people who are intrinsically incompatible with conformity. This is why many gay boys this age are suspicious of Aquarius boys. They call him a slut when he really sees sex as something beyond relationships. They call him weird when he's really just living for himself. In the worst case scenario, the Aquarius boy just brushes his shoulders off and says “you'll be sorry one day”. In the best, he attracts many independent thinkers and unique characters in the gay scene and surrounds himself with freedom-fighters and revolutionaries.
Connecting with an Aquarius:
To connect with an Aquarius, you must simply just be “right” for each other. Since an Aquarius boy is very independent, unique, and does better dealing with people on a mass scale, devoting himself to one person is often a hard task indeed. The Aquarian mind is extraordinarily complex, the Aquarian heart even more so. On the inside, he thinks he knows what he wants. Whether he's right or wrong doesn't matter. If you aren't for him, it's as simple as that. Indeed, the best way to win the heart of an Aquarius gay boy is to not try not go after him at all.
He is drawn towards characters that stand out, indeed boys who “don't give a fuck”. Though this may included the bad boys of the gay world, he really wants someone who is an independent thinker like himself. Do not try to be anything but yourself when attracting an Aquarius guy. He likes what sets you apart from the herd. The traits that other boys may have called you “weird” for an Aquarius might be highly turned on by. For those who don't fit into a mold, he's a breath of fresh air.
An Aquarius boy is looking for a friend in a lover. Many times he doesn't define his relationships because he sees them as just being really strong same-sex friendships...with sex. This is NOT the sign of tradition like Capricorn, since if you remember, every sign that comes after the next fixes or goes against its ideals. An Aquarius boy doesn't WANT a fairy-tale romance. Nor does he want a relationship devoid of love. He wants his own thing, something that hasn't existed before. To some guys, this concept is horrifying. To others, the prospect of a new kind of love is all too tantalizing to resist.
You may find it hard to connect to the Aquarius at an emotional level because his emotions comes from his brain rather than his heart. This does not mean he's heartless however. Aquarians are very verbal creatures, as well as blunt. You never really have to guess where you stand with him since he'll let you know exactly where you stand. Again, don't aim for his heart, aim for his mind. Do not pick dates lovers would go on until you're in a relationship(y thing). He likes to hang out; he likes to talk. Really you can do anything with an Aquarius and he won't mind as long as it's not conventional and he has a chance to communicate with you.
Since the Aquarius boy hates stagnancy, you should keep this relationship fresh and exciting. Take him to new places. Go on adventures. He likes it when life is changing for the better so involve him in your life's goals or at least seek his counsel. At the same time, respect your differences. No two Aquarius boys are alike except for the fact that they are all unique. In other words, your boyfriend stands out. You must also stand out. Do not fall into routine or conformity.
I really mean it when I say that the Aquarius boy is truly like no other. With him, you will have a relationship full of new experiences and potential to expand your mind. Appreciate that he is not like the rest. Respect his thoughts but never pander. He sees you as a lover and a best friend, so being there for him and yet giving it to him straight means the world to him.
In the Boudoir:
On Top of It:
There are no limits with an Aquarius boy when it comes to sex. He'll try anything once. Since he doesn't believe in taboos, the Aquarius top may suggest some pretty kinky things to you if you let him. His sexuality is very mental. When he has sex with you, he gets inside your head and has an uncanny way of figuring out just what gets you off. Sex with him almost seems so easy. That's because it is. He has no barriers when it comes to sex and can be (literally) versatile. So on one hand he can be gentle and tender or, if you ask him to, he'll just as soon plow you into oblivion.
On the Receiving End:
Since Aquarius is the constellation of the twink who hooked up with a sugar daddy, these boys are the archatypical bottoms. They love raw power, especially when it takes hold of them. Since he likes kink, he may find the idea of an older lover to be arousing whereas most other boys would not. Since Aquarius loves to give, he enjoys giving head and excels at all of the oral arts (I can't believe I just typed that). Since as a top he'll do anything to you that you want him to, the same applies to him bottoming. In fact, he gets off at the idea of a guy absolutely ravishing him.
Aquarius boys make very inventive and intelligent lovers. They have no qualms about sex, seeing it as just another part of every day life. While for some this takes out the mysticism of the sexual experience, for others the chance to indulge in almost anything means being with a boy who can push boundaries and take you to new places.
Queer Variations: This is for other male-identified orientations: As one might expect, the trans Aquarius boy sees no difficulty in evolving into their true gender. It's only other people who do. Still, the Aquarius trans boy does not care what other people think. Bisexual Aquarius boys are relatively common and, once again, they just don't give a fuck. The only pitfall here is that he may even play up his bisexuality to help attracting potential lays.